This morning I woke up to dozens of statuses that read:
"If all women/men who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote "me too" as a status, maybe we will begin to have an understanding of the magnitude of the problem."
This is my response, with great love.
I believe we live in a society of people who don't know how to connect with each other on more ways than just on a sexual level.
I believe this problem is caused by a lack of high quality education, by which I mean if men and women were encouraged and taught how to share all parts of themselves with total honesty, authenticity, and purity, sexual abuse would not exist.
I believe this is a severe problem that can be fixed and it's not going to be by focusing on the problem or blaming anyone.
I believe it is healthy to see the problem, but even healthier to see the solution if measurable change is going to occur.
I believe the solution is for YOU (because YOU are the only one YOU have control of ultimately) to practice these three things as much and as often as you can if you desire to be apart of the change:
Choose to see any abuser, rapist, or thief as someone who is in great pain without yet having the awareness of how to express themselves in ways that aren't so dramatically negative. If we are going to see real change, then we must create a space in our world for these deluded humans to experience their own pain in a loving, compassionate way. Yes, this is very challenging for most people, as we are raised in a society that will tell you the proper way to deal with a murderer is to condemn him/her. We lock these people up because we think that will make the problem go away. But it doesn't work and it never has and never will. It just puts a bandaid on the problem but doesn't fix it. In order for this problem to change, it is up to us to practice seeing all humans as people who are worthy and have the ability to make this kind of change. I could write an entire book on how to do this and not everyone will be willing to learn. However, the essence of what I'm talking about here is practicing compassion for yourself (if you were abused or have been the abuser) and all others. It is apparent that Jesus said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."
I believe people who experience abuse of any kind are doing it out of a place of fear they are not yet aware of.
Shall we throw our hatred, anger, and blame at these people? Or do we see their pain, and work as a team to find ways to show them love so they can have the opportunity to make healthier choices?
We've tried the former. I believe it's time we try the latter.
1. Practice having compassion for yourself and all people.
Practice loving yourself and all people, no matter what. The people who abuse people are not doing it from a place of unconditional love. You can help this problem by making more choices throughout your days to love more where people find reasons to hate, blame, or express anger. Have you ever gotten angry without meaning to? Yes, you have, and so has everyone else. That's okay. Awareness of the problem is also the biggest step towards the solution.
The solution is to make the decision, whether anyone else does or not, to introduce more emotions that resonate with love, peace and joy into your life. Will this make the problem go away? Ask yourself this: if someone were feeling emotions of high love, peace, and joy, do you think they would commit an act of rape? The answer is no. Why would they? They would have no reason to even try to take something that isn't theres because they already have the emotional well being they are searching for outside themselves.
We all do things we don't mean to do. No one is perfect and no one ever will be. Let us practice loving ourselves, wounds and all. Opening up these wounds hurts, but when you clean them by bringing awareness of what is true about ourselves, we grant our minds, bodies, and souls to live a clean life without any emotional baggage. You can be free when you replace your negativity with love.
This does not mean that these kinds of actions should be brushed off and ignored. It means that they should be approached with a higher level of responsibility. In other words, we must find more healthy and wholistic ways to create the change we're looking for.
2. Practice loving yourself and all others unconditionally.
You can't change anybody, so stop trying to. I'm not saying that you shouldn't make attempts to create positive change in your life or the world. I'm saying that so many people are doing it in ways that are causing them even more suffering than before they discovered the problem they're focusing on! In other words, you or someone you know gets sexually abused, and so that makes you angry. But then you talk to more people who have also been abused, and that makes you even more angry. But you're not done, because now you are trying to change things from a place of anger, which just creates more and more and more anger. The only way you can get to the solution you're looking for is by first grounding yourself and focusing on what you truly want. (Practices "1" and "2" above are there to help you get to what you truly want). In order to be a leader of the solution you're wanting, you need to be an example of it, whatever that is. There is no "right" or "wrong" change. You get to choose to uphold whatever you want. This practice is about choosing a change that resonates with your highest sense of self and knowing. In order to express that, you need to begin now to be curious what your highest truth is in the world. What ideals do you stand for? What do you want to see more of in the world? What change would you, perhaps, put your life on the line for?
I want more people to love each other in the world. That's why I'm writing this. It's not perfect, but it's what I believe.
What do you believe? What do you want to see changed in the world?
Get to know it and start now moving towards it as best as you can.
3. Practice doing your best to be the change you want to see in the world.
Is there more you can do to change this epic problem? Yes, but I would consider these the most significant of all steps. If every human on our planet chose to actively engage in these 3 practices, we would see a dramatic decrease in abuse of all kinds.
Please share what YOU believe is the solution in the comments below, or feel free to leave some feedback. Also, please share this post if it resonates with you.
Always with love,
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